Score: 6

"Um, well..."

submission: Magic Pink Man

date: June 29, 2009

This is a good game.

I like the combat system a lot, even though the last guy doesn't really call his attacks with the bite in any way that would make it feasible to dodge... not that it matters.

I like the whole 'adventure game' feel from the old days where you just pick up any ol' item you find and see where they get you... all three of the items.

I like the concept of the game, how not seriously you take it without going so far overboard that the randomness somehow becomes routine, and the aesthetics... for what little you see.

If you haven't figured out where I'm going with this... Seriously, everything comes together perfectly, but the game lasts MAYBE two minutes when you know what you're doing. When you DON'T know what you're doing... it takes MAYBE three.

I don't understand how everything could come together so well, and ultimately mean next to nothing when you've seen absolutely everything, without exception, in LESS than the time it would take me to eat an orange. You may as well have given the game no story at all. I mean, it sounded GREAT, but you just... stopped after the last boss!

This game could have been an easy '10', but the obscene brevity of the game, not to mention how it just STOPS with no real ending, chop several points off for me. If you make another game, stick with the concepts you have going on, but make it longer.

Score: 7

"Well..."

submission: Karate Blazers

date: March 30, 2009

As far as I can tell- I've played the original game before, and the game you provide is basically a dead-on Flash conversion, small graphical layering errors aside in some of the text. Nothing seems to have changed, and aside from some minor slowdown issues, the game runs EXACTLY as it would in MAME or what-have-you. Obviously, this took quite some talent and skill to do, especially if you had to reprogram the engine from scratch.

Buuuuut the thing is, well... For all your technical skill, the game itself just isn't that interesting, and it's definitely a game that needed a LOT of sprucing up in the first place. It's incredibly dull, repetitive, and you are swarmed by such huge numbers of enemies that your special attack is really the only option you have for getting out of most situations with the least overall health loss (and this ends up making Mark the most useful character without question, and Glen completely useless). All of these were problems pre-port, and it would have been nice to see some of these issues addressed.

I really want to give this game a ten based on the incredible porting job alone- you've even got the game's music in!- but I'm sorry. The game itself... seriously, you could have picked better, or done more with what you had.

Don't let me discourage you, though. If you want to take another shot at doing something like this game and want to stick with Video System's stuff, may I suggest "Spinal Breakers"? Fun shooter, that! =3

Score: 10

"Hehe, nice!"

submission: :the game:

date: November 5, 2008

I don't know how you made a game where the goal on nearly every stage is simply "jump off the floating grassy knoll and die", and make it an enormously fun laugh riot, but with all your titles and puns, you somehow kept it fresh the entire time.

Great work. For making something that should in no way be amusing one of the better times I've had playing Flash games, the 10 is yours.

Keep it comin'.
(AKA "Porn: The Game")
(AKA "Yeah, there's a reason I didn't make this")

Score: 8

"Not without faults, but not too bad either."

submission: Crunchdown

date: October 10, 2008

There really do need to be more of these brawler-style games on Newgrounds, and you've definitely did a good job filling the void. I love the story PRECISELY because it's so freaking ridiculous and nonsensical, which is clearly that way on purpose. I also like the fact that you broke up the action a bit with a shoot-'em-up stage, which was well designed (except possibly for the gun-toting enemies, but eh, more on that later). Aside from the "randomly turn invisible" glitch (seems to happen to a lot of people, and it happened to me on the first Lt. Brickfist fight), it seems to be solidly designed as well.

You do state that you wish to have constructive criticism leveled against you though, and I'll provide some, step by step. Grab your favorite refreshing beverage, you'll be here a while.

-Attack range. I understand that you want to give enemies a slight advantage over you in that department, which is reasonable. Some of my favorite beat-'em-ups have that as a cornerstone of many fights; trying to get in range without being hit. Still, I think your guy has perhaps too short a range. I'm all for upping the enemies' range along with it, but it seems like you have to literally be on top of your enemies in order to deal damage at the moment. I'd improve that. I agree with others that weapons (as INCREDIBLY useful as they are for upping your damage output drastically) should have the range advantage that you'd think they do (shining example, the rake).

-After-death invincibility. It's there, but it's WAY too short. All too many times, I'll respawn after dying and not one second later find myself taking hits from the same enemies who just got through killing me, before I get a chance to move. I'd up it at least a second or so to give people a chance to get away, or at least give the bastards who killed you a bit of a revenge smack.

-The gunners on the truck stage. I wish there were a way to fight them that didn't basically involve trading shots and hoping they die before you do- you worked in a stick-and-move boss in Big Ray during that same stage; maybe something similar is in order?

-The elevator segment. There's NO room to move around in that thing and it's almost impossible to dodge hits, or lure the enemies into your attacking range, and thus it just seems like the segment is there entirely to drain lives, helper or no. Expand the arena juuuust a little, maybe?

Aside from those complaints, you've done very well. I LOVE the whole power-obtaining mechanic (and how you can insta-kill some of the more bastardly enemies in the process that way, heh heh), including how you can use it on some of the craziest objects lying around. You also don't just have it in as a gimmick, either; you've made damn good and sure that you can USE that ability, often to great effect. The atmosphere is great, you clearly had fun naming all the enemies, and achievement systems are always a nice touch.

Oh, and naming that one biker "AUTUMN DRIZZLE" was purified genius. If others don't get it, play Streets of Rage 2, dammit. The author clearly has. Many times. Good taste, I say.

Although I can't give you a 10- the game DOES have faults that need ironing out first- I still say 'good job', buddy. Keep it up.

Score: 7

"Not too bad."

submission: Rocket Car 2

date: September 8, 2008

Telling people to play the game on a different site after level 31 was a prick move, and I hate how the final boss is a luck-based mission that basically relies on him NOT using the homing shots he has and uses FREQUENTLY, which there is no reliable way to dodge.

That being said: I'm NOT really sure this is the kind of game that needed bosses, because the rest of the game is a solid action-puzzle game that looks good and never feels too insurmountable. The game itself is pretty good, but seriously, warn us 31 levels prior that not everything in the game is here on this site.

Score: 9

"Cute n' bloody."

submission: Brawl Royale

date: September 3, 2008

What can I say? It's a well-done quick-draw game with some awesome references in it (you get to kick Yoko's ass, whoever would have seen THAT coming). I love the whole "Mortal Kombat Tower" challenger list you gave, and the animations are all top-notch. You definitely have a lot of skill.

The only feature you don't have that I would have liked would be a continue feature. This game REALLY stops toying with you around stage 8 and a couple of chances to continue would be nice, especially since the first few rounds are complete gimmes. The ability to unlock the intro, win and lose animations for any fight you clear would have been nice as well, but it's not something I'll dock you for.

Good work. =3

Score: 10

"A fine, emotional game. Great work."

submission: Death Row

date: March 13, 2008

You've done some fine work here. The game is very fun and I like how the stuff you buy and the actions you perform all have variable effects based on what you've bought and Hector's current statistics. Makes you think quite a bit on what's best for the situation.

But most of the reason I give you a 10- you've also done something I don't think I've ever felt in a video game, not even commercial ones- you actually made me care whether or not Hector made it out safe and sound. Listening to his story, I really felt bad for the poor guy. I really wanted to help him make it back into society a free and happy man, and I'm glad to say that I was able to do it on my third try.

A tip for those who intend on playing this, and you should- eventually, you're going to have to buy just about everything in the game if you want to save Hector. Work toward that end. Once the computer is unlocked, the end's in sight.

Again, fine work. I look forward to your future projects.